Who is she?
I have been told for years to write a blog about my life and the work that I do, sharing my life story with others. "Why?" I ask. "I’m just a normal 30-year-old trying to simply live my quote, ‘BEST LIFE’". I always knew that I lived my life a little differently to others, but nothing that I imagined was really worth talking about. Only as of recently, when I went backpacking for over 5 months and I met and spoke to more and more people, I realised how people were always so intrigued by my story. As the table talk went and everyone spoke about what they did and who they were, each and every time the circle reached me, people would shut up and hush the others so that they could listen in shock and awe at my life story.
In essence I am a 'Yachtie'. I work as a Chef for the mega rich on a Superyacht in the South of France and the surrounding Mediterranean. I get to travel around Europe for 6 months of the year and then backpack and travel around the rest of the world for the latter… Some call me an extreme nomad. I have become obsessed with trying to see the whole world and learn as much about it as I can before I die. Normal just isn't in my vocabulary.
Alas, was I always like this? Careless, wild and free. Nomadic and travel obsessed and confident enough to travel alone around the world, always chasing change and adventures. Curious about new exciting places, their food, people, cultures, spirituality and life lessons? Was I always someone who needed constant change and new challenges? "Its easy to live like this when you are as open minded and confident as you are!" People always tell me. To be honest, in my best French…. Simply ‘NOT A FUCK!!’. I was quite the polar opposite my whole life.
Stubborn she was
I sometimes look back and cannot believe that this has all happened in the short space of 5 years. Rewind back to the sweet, clueless 25-year-old Toni Firmani. A nerd and overachiever to the say the least… I'm going to refer to TERRIFIED Toni in 3rd person from now on because she has become so dang foreign to me now! Anyways, cue this little girl who thought she had it all figured out. Five year plan, hell probably even a 20 year one. A business owner. Hard headed and close minded. She thought she already had it all figured out. Every decision she made in her life, always ended up with her choosing the same old things she had become comfortable doing for as long as she can remember. From the same weekend plans, to the same holiday destination every year, with the same traditions of going to the same wine farms, the same bars, the same restaurants and not even changing her darned mind on the menu. EVERYTHING was the bloody SAME!!! When I look back now, I think this poor Terrified Toni was completely and utterly petrified of change. She knew what she liked and what made her happy… “WHY FIX WHAT WASN’T BROKEN RIGHT??” She had given herself so little time to enjoy life that she didn't want to chance trying something new, in case it didn't live up to her high expectations. “WHAT A WASTE!” she would overthink. Knowing exactly what was in her cards gave her gnawing anxiety a rest, knowing that she was comfortable and that everything always going to the same. No surprises. No having to adapt.
The Change
Cue Toni 2020. Even writing the world 'Comfortable' gives me the HEEBIE JEEBIES…. Ughhhh! After many 'firsts' that started to slowly change my mind (cue future posts), one day I had just had darned enough with my choices!!! I was so bored with my life. “IS THIS IT?”, “HAVE I ALREADY MADE IT AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 25?”, “IS THIS ALL THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER ME?”. These deep questions kept coming at me day after day. The reality is that it was the first time that I realised I needed change in my life and that was madly EXHILARATING and TERRIFYING at the same time. It was honestly the first time I've ever felt those feelings so intensely in my life. The first time I had ever questioned myself to this level!
New Career Choice
Long story short, one day a friend and I spoke about an industry called 'Superyachting'. This career where you live on a yacht in a small cabin and live on top of dozens of other crew serving the rich and famous, working 19 hour days but whilst travelling the world and seeing places you would never ever have dreamed of seeing in your life. A career for a chef that sounded like it had all of the same problems of living and working on land, like working really long hours and never seeing your friends and family, but with having all the perks of seeing the world and learning about all of its produce, its markets and food cultures at the same time. “WHAT COULD BE SO BAD ABOUT THAT?”. For the first time in my life on a whim, I researched, booked all my courses and a one-way ticket to France before I could even blink an eyelid. I guess in hindsight, hopefully before I could talk myself out of it. After 3 months, off I went to the South of France. I have never cried as much, learned as much and lived as much as I have since that day.
The Mermaid was Born
Today I am no longer afraid of change, I know crave it. I am rather more afraid of not living my life at that! I have learned that we as humans have feet, not roots, and we are meant to move and explore this world. The Mermaid in me craves new adventures, travels, oceans, new tastes, lessons of cultures and new ultimate life learnings. THE MERMAID FINALLY GREW HER TAIL AND LEARNED TO SEAS THE DAY!!
I'd love to know if anyone else has ever found themselves in this place too? I'm sure many of us wonder if there is more to our lives? Would love to hear your stories too. Did you also make the change to happiness?
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